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Jeff Werner

Designer in Vancouver, Canada. Secretary of the 221A Artist Run Centre, member of Fieldwork design collective, and former exhibit designer at the Beaty Biodiversity Museum and the Vancouver Aquarium. Graduate of Emily Carr and University of Victoria, and worked in the Philippines, Indonesia and the Netherlands. Cycling advocate and race on the Garneau Evolution team.

university Daily Activities Food, March 30, 2004 8:56 PM 2 comments

G.G. Cookies

Ate an entire box of Girl Guide Cookies today. Felt obliged and embarrassed enough to fork out the 4-bucks-for-a-good-cause at UVic yesterday when a couple of pretty young UVic students I know glanced me mounting my bike and so came running and smiling ecstatically in my direction. I assumed the two ladies simply couldn't pass up an opportunity to banter with my casual and charming wit until they swung a cardboard crate full of brightly-coloured boxes of said cookies under my nose and immediately launched into a less-than-subtle sales pitch. I quickly recovered my ego, bantered a bit, bought a box and pointed out another friend nearby as a next potential target, who the two GGs squealed over to, ponytails bobbing, cookie box swinging.

But not before I asked them whatever happened to like age limits in Girl Guides. Aren't a couple 20-somethings a little mature for a club my two little Calgarian cousins used to hang with when they were still single digit age? They (the two UVic GGs) said nope.

Today I read the side-panels of the cookie package, my teeth aching from sugar and my tongue sore with sulphite caramel colouring (among other ingredients, after soya lecithin, monocalcium phosphate and annatto, girl guide cookies also contain (in bold print) Fun Friendships and New Adventures) and there it was: Venez vous joindre nous! Toutes les filles et les femmes sont les bienvenues! so I flipped the box over and the other flap translated: Come join us! All girls and women welcome! (emphasis mine).

In addition to preferring to have my charitable earnings twisted from me by innocently cute kids rather than slyly cute adults, I also don't care for the new GGC packaging, which in its garish blue, yellow and McDonald's Red, with photo montages of cute multi-cultural Canadian girls ranging in age from 3 to 33 beaming in packs and outlined in 10-point white borders, looks (the whole box) more like it contains Saturday-morning-advertised cartoon fruit roll-ups for the Fox Network than for cheap artificial vanilla and chocolate cookies made by Kitchener, Ontario's Dare Foods Limited for the quaint outdoorsy girls' club. Though I do like what I assume is GG's updated catch phrase "You go Girl!"

And so they seem to do, the GGs Go, well beyond the age when I figured most would have dropped camping and learning to tie knots and walking old grannies across roads for light smoking, mall-ratting and boys. What do young women in the GGs learn about these days? The informative box again replies: "fun, active and friendship-filled experiences" that give them "opportunities to develop self confidence, show kindness and connect with our wider world." If she can stick around well into her post-secondary years can the young woman earn badges in like Resume Writing, Learning to Love your Figure, Email Etiquette, Breaking Through Glass Ceilings in the Workplace, etc.? I was never a Boy Scout, or the Canadian equivalent, Beaver, and I certainly never meet any cute guys at UVic selling Chocolate Almonds or Beaver Bits or whatever the national adolescent boy club fund-raising candy equivalent is.

2 comments on G.G. Cookies

1. Fossi Rosso | March 30, 2004 9:21 PM

You fool! Falling for the likes of E and R (I assume). The proper protical for such occations is to pull a few dollars from your pockets and feign a lack of funds. At this wolves will look for new prey and leave you be. Boy scouts sold pointsettas and apples when I was one.

2. Leanne | April 7, 2004 12:51 AM

ahaha, I just read this... yay for Girl Guides! Actually they go up pretty old, Steph and I quit when we went into jr. high but as far as I know, there's things like Pathfinders for high school and college students, then they can train to be Girl Guide leaders. Ahh, the good ol' days, selling cookies to people who don't need them... :)

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