Designer & bike rider in British Columbia, Canada

On A Roll (Expanded)

Oh man I had stuff stolen in January. Society, don’t fail me so.
First I got this nice hat for Christmas and wore it for about two weeks before it was swiped at school. I really liked that hat; a couple people even said it was pretty cool.
A couple weeks later and a suitcase full of school audio equipment went missing from my locker. Now I owe the Audio/Visual Department over $700.
Tyler, good friend, returned from a trip around Europe with two specialty cycling publications from Coventry, sort of the centre of bicycle manufacturing in turn-of-the-century England. Anyways, just two hours after he presented them to me as gifts someone steals those, too. Loosing those hurt like hell; I felt like I’d betrayed Tyler’s generosity.
OK, in the first two cases I forgot to lock my locker; in the last I left the books on a table for a couple hours. But thieves are thieves! I feel like the sole receiver of the shit end of their business at Emily Carr this year.
I’ve lost at least four print-service cards charged with about $2 each since September. I left one in the second-floor photocopier this week!
I should go into photography next year if only for the fact that my camera hasn’t been stolen yet. How’ve I managed to hang on to that so long? I wonder which faculty entails the least potential for major financial loss via robbers. I’ll bet Industrial Designers are statistically prime targets for theft.
And now I was thinking about my landlady and her system of passive-aggressive post-it note communiqués, her innuendo, and I realized: I haven’t seen that particular Queen CD (Innuendo) in years. Oh man, they stole that, too?!
One of the techs in Foundation figures it’s a sign, the thefts. He wasn’t entirely clear what kind of sign (Jeff, get a new lock?), but I’ve been developing this little idea to help me on my path to freedom from pride, consumption, greed: For every additional possession I acquire I must actively reduce my current stronghold by two. For example if I buy a new shirt, two old ones must go. I could really use an iron, but then that vase and that CD binder are going to the Sally Ann. In theory I’ll eventually meet an asymptote of Nirvana, free from worldly goods.
For some reason when a stranger helps me with this task it isn’t the same. I don’t feel closer to Nirvana; I feel despair and anger. I’m at the crossroads: shall I learn to let go, or batten down the hatches?


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3 Responses to “On A Roll (Expanded)”

  1. Lisa Avatar

    I think that you haven’t lost your camera b/c it’s one of your most important posessions. Also, next time, lock your locker when there’s much expensive equipment in it – that’s just common sense!

  2. Andreas Avatar

    Hey Jeff, as you see I’m writing this at 5am, am I working on my portfolio or what :)
    Just wanted to say that I am sorry for your losses, it totally feels like we are getting a increasingly bigger theft problem at school! But I just wanted to chime in on your “disconnection strategy”, although its very buddist of you, what if people start stealing your t-shirts? then if you buy a new one after the teft and then throw an old one left you might not have more than the shirt on your back in the end! AIII!
    But seriously, totally sucks for you man. If we find the guy, I’ll hold him while you punch him.
    “Spellchecking is for whimps”

  3. Brian McBay Avatar

    hmm, i’ll keep my eye out for you.
    Mike got his bike stolen from the bike locker!
    Andreas Oye had his portfolio stolen

    The only conclusion is that we have a monster named Sally Ann who eats goods

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