Speed bumps should be yellow…

…not black. Because I was hit by one today on my bike and didn’t see it coming. Well, I could have paid more attention. In fact, I was actually preparing to dodge a nice friendly yellow speed bump in the Family Foods parking lot (McKenzie at Cedar Hill) when an ninja stealth assassin black speed bump attacked me. My hands were pried from the bars while 25 kilometres per hour of inertia sent me over them and into the pavement. Luckily my right elbow, right knee and left palm broke my fall and brought me to a prolonged and skidding halt on the thick, black, oil- and rubber-stained asphalt.
A bearded and gruff-looking customer in sunglasses exiting the store said “whoa, dude,” while a little old lady stood way back from my drippings and asked if I was OK. Everyone else politely minded his/her own business.
I don’t feel like getting into how big a baby I am when it comes to cleaning tar from my wounds. Just ask the Girlfriend about the unproductive scene over the sink this afternoon. Let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of scrapes and tears and I usually get by just fine letting the screaming hot oozing like sulphuric acid m—ther f—ckers sort themselves out. I’ll just sit still for the next few days.