Bali Intern Day 2

I feel ill with anxiety half the time. But I expected as much. Anxious that I’ll cut it here. Not perform. Outperform.

It’s as much work as I created for myself at Emily Carr, except this week a lot of it is created for me. I’m mostly alone on the site with a two-man team of local workers who only half listen to me partly because neither of us speak the same language and partly because it turns out I don’t know how to manage shit. And if I don’t get something done, and done right, I’ll loose a lot more than grades and dignity. Well maybe not more, actually: I’ll loose the same things, just more spectacularly.
Day 2 of the official internship and the pressure, and trying to get stuff done, and perform, and complete, is keeping me up in my tent at night and out of it early in the morning. Today, after I learned how to ride the zip line across the river (oh man FUN), the message was clear: you have to extend yourself if you want to be here.
So, make a clear list of what your major projects are and where you’re at with them, and be prepared to answer and account for them when put on the spot. Do the same with your minor projects. You do have seven major and seven minor ones ongoing, don’t you? Meetings don’t amount to anything. What have you done? Sheesh, get on it.
I was supposed to have this compost toilet built on Day 1. End of Day 2 and it’s only 75 per cent done. I’m supposed to have the whole house finished by Friday. Currently: 75 per cent done.
All of this is…good? Certainly learning lots. Fast. It’s changing my personality.
Also: I just tried to take up smoking–but even at 50 cents a pack it’s not worth it.